The best version of you

From the first grade to my latest years in high school I can definitely say I was one of the best students in my class. I truly worked hard for that, but I just did it, because I genuinely liked studying and in general, I always thought that education was my only chance to have access to all the things I dreamed about growing up. And by that, I don’t mean expensive items or experiences, but just things I missed out growing up because my parents couldn’t afford to provide for me and my brother. ( If you want to read more about this, you can read my post Don’t wish to be rich. ) So, I worked hard and always got the first or second-best grades in my class. In the beginning, I didn’t really feel any pressure regarding this matter. I just did what I had to do. Maybe in part, that’s also because I tend to be a very compliant and quiet person. I don’t really like to be against the system, so to say. But that’s another story.

With time I started to slowly realize some kind of pressure. From my father, the teachers, my colleagues and most important of all from me. Once I had the reputation of the “smart one” everybody was expecting me to do well on everything. If I got a relatively bad grade, something was wrong. If one of the other students got a bad grade, it was nothing.

I managed to work my way past this fairly easily. That until 6 years ago when I moved to Bucharest to go to college. And I had a total shock. Between all the big changes in my life, like leaving home for the first time, living in a college dorm with 3 new girls, taking care of myself and all that, something else radically changed then. I was not the “smart one” anymore. Actually, in the beginning, I was really bad at school. It sure was related to all the changes passing on in my life, but there something else there too. I just wasn’t the smartest one, I just couldn’t surpass one of my colleagues. No matter how hard I tried, some of them were better than me at school. That realization really shuttered my life at the time. I felt so bad, I couldn’t understand what’s happening and blamed myself for not being good enough.

You are YOU.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Work on becoming the best version of you.